DOES IT REALLY MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK/SAY?

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

As my dad smacked me in the head, I grudgingly walked away not understanding why the visitor could not use the long glass I had brought for him to drink the red wine my dad had set on the table. I went back to the wine glass rack and pulled out the glass with the wider base for the visitor to use... still wondering why he could not use the first glass cup I brought. From then till now I still can't understand why the white wine glass is different from the red wine glass - not that there are no explanations but I just can't understand why there should be a reason. Does it really matter if you pour the white wine in a red wine glass or vice versa? Will it change the taste of the wine? Does the shape of the glass cup allow a free flow of the wine into the mouth? If you present a visitor with a white wine and give him/her a red wine glass, does that make you a bad host? I'm still wondering why....because in the end, all that matters is the wine went from the glass into your mouth; your tongue enjoyed the taste of the wine which then passed through your oesophagus into your stomach and ends up in the toilet as urine. Following this life cycle of the wine, again I ask - does it really matter what glass you drink your wine in?

It's interesting how most of us live our lives with so much headache on what type of glass to drink our wine from. Yes ... you reading this article. What am I trying to say? In the journey of life, it really doesn't matter where you are at or what stage in life you are at presently. All that matters is that you're not at one spot - you're moving forward and making progress. It also doesn't matter what people think/say about you; understand that there will always be critics who stand on the way throwing tantrums at you and telling you how they expect your life to be or how they think you're not doing something well. These people act like the day you were born, there was a slot for their signature on your birth certificate. They expect you to be at a certain level at a certain age in your life and when you're not there yet; they make you feel miserable about it because according to them "your mates" have all achieved so and so while you're yet to get there. They always have "when" and "why" questions such as - Daisy, Amaka is getting married next month so when is yours? Or, Lanre, Chudi has just bought a new BMW and built a new house for his parents so when are we seeing your handwork? The most common question for both male and female - so when are you getting married? Does it really matter when? 

If you ever get these questions, your response should be - If I tell you when I will do these things, how will it affect your life? Will it add a cubit to your height or a pound to your flesh? As different as our faces are, so are our destinies; even twins do not have the same thumb print and do not have the same dreams or ambitions. That someone else is

drinking their white wine in a slender long glass does not mean it tastes better than yours because you're drinking from a wider base glass. I mean, someone else's success does not insinuate that you are not making progress in life so quit letting people control your life choosing what type of glass you have to drink your wine in. The igbos will say "ebe onye oso ruru ka onye ije g'eru" meaning - the person running and the person walking will both get to the same destination. Kinda reminds me of the bedtime stories about the tortoise, slow but steady showing that it's not about how fast your so called mates run but how well. Compare two people building houses - a skyscraper and a bungalow. When the bungalow is completed, the owner of the skyscraper will still be laying his foundation. But the people looking from outside will not understand; they will only see that two people started building together but one person finished before the other.  

While beating yourself up about what type of glass to drink your wine from; remember that some people do not even have wine to drink talk more of choosing which glass to drink from. So when next those people come with their when and why questions; remind them that there are also some of those your mates who are 6 feet below the ground and couldn't live to enjoy the wine whether from a long slender glass or a wider base glass.

• It's your life - choose to live it on God's purpose and plans for you, not what people think is best for you. God's time is the best and as long as you're walking in his plans for your life - what anybody thinks or says really doesn't matter.

• Be motivated by other people's success and let it be a source of encouragement to you. Never envy anybody, you'll short-circuit that miracle in your life especially if it's something you desire. Instead celebrate people and you in will be celebrated.

• Constantly push yourself to perform better than your past, not to compete with others. If your goal is to be better than that your flat mate or co-worker; you may end up frustrating yourself. 

• Don't let the world decide for you, let THE WORD decide for you. The wine is yours, you can even drink it with a tea cup...it's nobody's business as long a it's fine with God.

• White wine or red wine, it doesn't really matter which glass you use as long as the wine gets into your mouth and serves its purpose. Therefore, whether fast or slow... it doesn't really matter as long as you just keep moving.

• Always be thankful for having wine at least; there are people who don't have i.e. be thankful for life and for where God has brought you to.

• Even when there is no glass to drink the wine, you can drink directly from the bottle. Meaning, when you're faced with obstacles - just take the bull by the horn and push your way through.

• Never stop dreaming as long as you wake up and make it happen.

Have a beautiful week

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HE IS TOO JEALOUS OVER YOU

Friday, November 8, 2013

The word "jealousy" could mean many things like the fear of being displaced by someone else in a relationship, apprehensive of losing affection or position or envying another's success. But it also means being vigilant in guarding something you love and cherish, being possessive and watchful in protecting that which you love. In many relationships, when someone gets jealous over you it shows that they actually value you, it shows that your presence in their life means a lot to them and for that reason they do not want to lose you to another. But sometimes jealousy transforms into being possessive which goes beyond just being in love with the person. The possessiveness causes the person to watch you, monitor you, and in some cases even hire someone to follow you everywhere you go so they can keep tabs on your every move. 

So I met this guy some years ago; I had known him from childhood. My parents took me to his house every Sunday but I never really paid attention to him until I was in my early 20s. He was so sweet, big, strong and amazing; he kept asking to take our friendship to the next level but I always had a dodgy answer every time. We were friends already, we chat once in a while so I wanted to keep things as "just friends" aka the friend zone. I never gave a straight forward answer, sometimes I'll lead him on and then turn around and hurt him just to see if he'll reduce his proposal but he never stopped. So one day, a friend talked me into trying to give him a chance; I reluctantly and grudgingly accepted to go on a date. Just one date and I was sprung - hook, line and sinker. I knew this was love but it was a different kind of feeling cos it was not just butterflies in my stomach, it was more like electric waves running through my veins. He held my hands, pulled me into his warm embrace and I felt just like a baby wrapped in the arms of love. Oh...please don't think this was another player trying to use sweet words on me; he was different, gentle as a dove and in his presence I felt a peace I had never felt before. I felt protected. After this date, a lot of things changed about me because he brought out the best in me, helped me excel in my academics, showed me the path of life, the true meaning of success and pointed me in the direction for a purpose driven life. He was all I ever needed and asked for. Simply amazing...

But somehow, someday...I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders and felt so burdened that I lost track of his love. No, it wasn't him-it was me. I started feeling like I didn't need him that much, felt like there was something I was missing. I just thought I needed a break for a while so I stopped calling him as often as I should have and reduced the communication. As loving as he was he never left; he still stayed and tried to persuade me to stay but I was blinded by the world and my blurred vision of his love. In the end he moved aside and just watched me walk away; but he never left. He hired a guardian angel to walk with me every step I take, to monitor every move I make and to make sure I don't fall by the way side. He watched me make some mistakes so I could learn from them, he watched me fail sometimes so I could rise again; he watched me go through some pain so I could become stronger... he just stood one place and all he did was watch and make sure no harm came to me. At some point in my life, I looked back and remembered his love... I knew it was naturally impossible for him to take me back after I had been with other guys who loved me less but I just thought I should try. I went back with tears in my eyes and he took me back. What an unconditional love...

God's love is unconditional and he is soooooo jealous over you that he just can't imagine you with someone else. He is that possessive and will do anything to fight for you even when you act like you don't need him. He will not force his love on you but will be watchful over you, guarding you through life's troubles and heartaches. He loved you so much that he gave up the most precious gift he had just to have your love. Can you not feel it? Don't let the cares of this world burden you, don't let your heart get worried/weary; just cast all your cares on him cos he cares. His jealousy makes him do crazy things for you - remember David & Goliath? It was humanly impossible for a little boy to defeat a giant but I tell people - even if it's something that God had never done before for anyone, He'll do it for me if I need it. David defeating Goliath was the first of its kind ever... it sounds cliche' but his love causes protocols to be broken for your sake, it breaks the highest Guinness World Record ever; He goes above and beyond for you. I realized this a long time ago and it can happen for you too... just let him love you jealously and fight for you, that's all he asks. Will you let him?

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BUILDING YOURSELF FOR GREATNESS

Friday, October 25, 2013

Hi lovelies, I trust you all had a great week. It's been a while I wrote a success-inspirational article and today I'm going to share with you on a topic I've been meditating on for a very long time from my pastor's message - Building Yourself for Greatness. 

Success is NOT an accident and anybody can be a success but you have to prepare for it because the future belongs to those who prepare for it. We all have dreams and goals, but it's not enough to be a dreamer because there are lots of dreamers who never achieved their dreams. It's good to dream, but don't get lost in the dream; get up and make it happen. Life has made provisions for everyone to achieve their dreams if you follow the right principles. Never blame anybody for failure cos it's just NOT an option for you. Make up your mind to be a key player not a spectator; don't live on the sidewalks...be the one to make things happen. 

Some people want it to happen

Some wish it could happen

Others make it happen

-Michael Jordan-

We all have a seed of greatness deposited inside of us from the point of conception; what you do with that seed is up to you - whether to grow it into greatness or to let it lie

dormant inside you while you blame everyone for your situation. Explore your mind and bring out the best in you; there's more to your life than you can ever imagine cos you were destined for greatness. There are few tings you need to do to prepare and build yourself for greatness; these are:

1. Cultivate a discontent with mundanity and mediocrity in your life: Refuse to be satisfied with anything that is not excellent (it doesn't make you an extremist, it just makes you someone of excellence).  Never mind critics - they are only spectators who sit on the sidewalks and watch the players; they will definitely talk about you and say things to pull you down. Please pay them no attention and no matter what you do, BE THE BEST.
2. Drive yourself to improve your mind and abilities: Seek ways to improve yourself; come out of your comfort zone and do things differently. Sometimes you have to stretch yourself beyond your limits; if you have decided to be the best then you have to work towards it and make a decision to keep doing it until you become the best. Cultivate/sharpen/harness your skills, invest in your mind-start reading the right materials - do things differently. Make sacrifices if the need be and run with the right crowd. To live a positive life, you need to surround yourself with positive people.
3. The "unseen you" is the one to make you a success - train that man/woman: The real you is the inner man where your thoughts are processed  and this is where your greatness lies so don't let that "you" be intimidated no matter what. You may have grown up in an environment where you were ridiculed, mocked and as a result you never thought you could become great. Truth is, it doesn't matter what happened in your past - if your past does not inspire you; drop it and focus on creating a beautiful future ahead. Reprogram your mind and thinking from that shy, quiet, timid young boy/girl to a bold, strong and courageous man/woman.
4.  Don't let the memory of the past stop you: If your past does not inspire you, dump it. If you feel terrible, cry or have regrets anytime you remember your past, let it go cos it's not good enough for your future. Don't be a slave to your past - focus on what lies ahead. 
5. Don't let anything stop you: Your journey to greatness will bring you to many obstacles/roadblocks but don't let them stop you. If you ever encounter a road without obstacles, it's probably cos it's leading nowhere. A road that leads to greatness will have some walls to challenge you; this will test and try you. It could come in different forms - negative words from critics, you may fail the first time, betrayal, etc. However it comes, don't let it get to you - fight the fight of faith and keep trying. If you fail seven times, rise up eight times and keep at it.

Obstacles don't have to stop you. 

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or work through it - Michael Jordan

I see greatness in you, wake up and run with your dreams till you achieve your desired goal. Have a great weekend

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HEALTHY LIVING - How I went from a size 12 to size 6/8

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Hi sweeties....hope you're all having a great week. Today I'm focusing on something entirely different - I'll be inspiring you on healthy living and also showing you (ladies) some of the products I use. Most people ask me what cream, make-up etc I use so I'll be talking about that in this post.

The first thing I'll focus on is your eating habit. Believe it or not, I was on the verge of hitting size 12 when I was in my third year in the university, all I knew was food and sleep. I had just returned home to do a 6 months IT (industrial training) and the only real work I did was normal house chores. I ate breakfast, brunch, lunch, after lunch, dinner and late dinner; I could never get enough of mum's sumptuous meals. The shocker was that every time I stood in front of the mirror, I saw myself as the world's hottest model (lolll).  My love for food was insatiable and immediately after meals, my eyes started to feel dizzy and that meant SLEEP...zzzzzzzzz. I finished my IT, went back to school and all my friends were surprised at my size but I didn't care cos I loved the extra bum (*covers face* ignorance). Fast-forward, few months after graduation a neighbour stopped me on the way (an elderly woman) and these were her exact words, "Lynda, I have noticed some changes in your body and as a woman I understand what your body is going through. I also know that you may not know how to tell your parents, but I'm here to help you. I can speak to them on your behalf if you want me to". I stood in amazement with my eyes, mouth, nose, ears wide open and I was like "huh?" In order not to say something that will cause wahala, I just told her thank you and walked away. In my head, I thought to myself "was she trying to say I'm preggy"? Next episode happened when I was standing with my mum after church service and a close family friend walked up to us and said to my mum, "how's Lynda? When is she coming back from school?" My brethren and sisthren... I was standing right beside my mum and this my aunty didn't even recognize me (AARRGGHHH...was it that bad?).  I finally got the gist... the message had been delivered to my brains. You may wonder why these people acted the way they did... that's because yours truly (me) used to be lepa' (very very slim). My nick name when I was younger was fido-dido. Remember the 7-up bottle... u can't forget it. Yeah...that's exactly how tiny I was so most of my clothes had no fitting and would swirl round my waist. I began to fast and pray for extra bum, 

hips, boobs, anything fat. I started eating anything and everything edible ... if it had extra calories, that's the one I want. If it's oily, extra fat-I'll definitely want it. Little did I know that all these fat consumption were piling up somewhere and getting ready to manifest (mehnn the devil is a liar, loll). So I moved from Fido-dido to Michelin Tyre. Ladies and gentlemen, at this juncture, hmmm... I decided to repent of my sins bad eating habit and give my life to Christ exercise, healthy living, fruits, vegetables and total body work-out. It wasn't easy but it was worth it. I'm now a size 6 above & size 8 below .. if you know what I mean.

My message today is not to talk about being fat or being slim; but to encourage you to live a healthy life for yourself and for those who love you. Think of how you want to be in the future and start taking care of yourself now. Won't you prefer to be a strong and agile grandpa/grandma? Ladies, our bodies go through a lot of transformation after child-birth so even before you get married & get pregnant; you need to put a check on the things you eat. Guys, esp some Ibo African men (my nna bros & co) I love you guys but biko (pls) a pot belly no longer means chopping money or living large. Make sure you take some time to do some exercise; you burn those calories when you work out. You don't necessarily need the gym (I haven't bee to the gym at work since I joined), you can do indoors workout, zumba dance, jogging on the spot, skipping etc.

Lynn's routine: less carbohydrates, less oil (I'm trying to cook jollof/fried rice without oil), more fruits, vegetables. I haven't taken fizzy drinks (coke, sprite, anything fizzy) since  December 2011. If I have to take it, I mix it with water. No artificial juices, only freshly squeezed, from non-concentrate and smoothies (home-made). The pictures below are what I'm having this week straight from Lynn's Kitchen. Chicken soup with broccoli & cauliflower and fruit smoothie #teamhealthyliving 

CHICKEN SOUP WITH VEGGIES

Broccoli, cauliflower and chicken - Boil the chicken and add your spices. When the chicken is ready, add the vegetables inside and stir. Leave to steam for 2 - 3 minutes

Finished product - Chicken soup with veggies (very healthy)

SMOOTHIE

From R - L: Peach, banana, apple, mango, strawberry (you can mix any fruit of your choice)

Cut fruits into smaller bits, add apple juice and blend - Smoothie is ready

Let's talk about exercise - Like I said, I haven't used the gym at work cos most times I'm rushing off to a meeting after work or have to stay back extra hours to finish off some work. All these are excuses but I don't miss my morning work out sessions with Jillian Michaels or Fitness Blender. Looking good is good business.

2007-size 12; 2010-size 10; since 2012 to 2013-size 6

I know I promised to include beauty products to this post but unfortunately I may not be able to. Reason is I didn't know this post was going to be this long. I'll definitely post an article about that.

PLEASE stay healthy for yourself; for those who love you and for your future. I don't know about you but I'm gonna be a strong, sexy and yoppy grandma :) 

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WHEN GIVING UP IS NOT AN OPTION

Friday, October 4, 2013

It was 4:05 pm when my manager came to my desk; he looked at me and said "well-done Lynda, you've done your best and we (the team) can all see from the excel spreadsheet that you've really put in effort in trying to hit your target this week". He continued by saying, "I'm happy with what you've done, thank you for this week's achievement, I'm sure next week will be better". While he was speaking, my head was down and I was just not happy at all cos I always meet target and last week my team produced the highest result in our division; I felt really bad that I would let the team down this week. After my manager spoke I tilted my head upwards to look at him and I was surprised to see him still smiling, encouraging me not to feel bad about meeting my target. At this moment, ladies and gentlemen... I felt I had disappointed him. The day was almost over and I had two options, give up on meeting my targets (after all I have always met target & exceeded some times) or keep trying to get a workable case and help the team achieve our goal for the week. I was on the verge of going with the first option, but I remembered the look my manager had on his face when he looked at the scores - I went back into the pool and started fishing for cases. Have you ever said you've done your best and someone says your best isn't good enough? I told myself that I have tried but, at this point this best isn't good enough; I made up my mind to keep searching and updating the spreadsheet until it was 5pm, so giving up was just not an option for me. I was going to fight till the end.

During the early hours of the day I had whined, grumbled, moaned, complained cos my eyes were aching from non-stop staring into the computer screen. I actually forgot to have lunch so you can imagine a hungry stomach, aching eyes, head and no cases to work. At exactly 4:12, I miraculously stumbled unto a workable case...at first I didn't want to jinx it so I just told my manager I think I may have found one. I stressed the "MAY HAVE" so it doesn't end up like the other two I rejoiced about but still found out couldn't be completed. But guess what? This one was workable and so sweet mehhnnn....Now I began to smile from ear to ear but there was one more huddle to cross. Can I assess this case and finish it before 5pm??? It could take up to an hour to work a single case, different steps/processes to follow, spotting relevant information, making sure they're absolutely accurate, extra attention to details etc. How on earth was I going to get this done in less than 30 mins? At this point, I just want to shout it loud and clear that "I HAVE THE BEST TEAM-MATES EVER"...I love my team - A good manager makes a good team. Thanks Nick

You know how you add "a good team player" as one of the skills on your CV, this was exemplified and perfectly played out today. I was so amazed...Kristina split the checks into two bits and started doing some work on it wile I checked the second part; after that she printed out the main information I needed to complete my assessment to speed up the process. In no time, I was through with the assessment and Liz came to the rescue with her great quality/house style checks. After that, Kristina was already standing by the printer waiting for my documents to come out, she stapled it quickly and I signed the documents - Yayyy, case completed!!!

This post is not just another story but I'll point out some very important things:

• When you get to the point of giving up and it is evident to everyone that you have really tried your best - please don't give up. Just one last try...you never know what happens... you may be one step to hitting jackpot. Success doesn't come to those who never failed but to those who failed so many times and never gave up. Even when you think you've done your best - Just keep at it till you get a result.
  
  
  
• Appreciate the people around you - God places people around you for your good so no matter what happens - stick together in love. They may annoy you, get on your nerves but we need them to spice up our lives. Life will be boring if we all acted the same, so be grateful for having them. If I haven't said it before(I've definitely said it) - I love you Y103 team.

• Be a team player - no man is an island. The acronym TEAM means Together Each Achieve More. I had my team in mind and I wanted the team target to be achieved so I kept on trying and when I found what I needed, they came through and we all worked together.

• Leadership - A good leader is one who brings out the best in the people he/she is leading. As a leader, constant motivation and encouragement helps to bring out the best in your followers; your attitude and actions towards them could lift them up or push them down. Even when I had performed below expectation, my manager still said "thank you" and told me I was doing a great job. Appreciate and speak positive words to the people you lead despite their shortcomings; you may have someone who's slow in your team, don't tell them how slow and backwards they are. Instead say words like - I know you can do it, give it your best shot and if you ever need help on anything,  you can come to me. Words have motivating effect on people and the more you speak positive words to that person, gradually they change and become better. To know a good leader, check his followers, from my story I guess you already know what kind of leader I have - The best of the best. 

• For more inspiration on not giving up, read my article titled - QUITTING IS NOT AN OPTION HERE.

A big shout out to my team members Nick (manager), Hitesh, Ben, Liz, Kristina, Martin, Trushen, Suganya, Rumayna, Giash, and Jihat. Thanks for being so sweeeeet and creating a lovely ambience, happy work environment and for filling the goodie box with lots of chocolate, crisps, biscuits, candy lolll.

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DRESS TO KILL BUT DON'T KILL YOUR BANK ACCOUNT (PART 2)

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

If you haven't read the Part 1 of this article, plsss read it HERE before you proceed. A lot of people have the mindset of “dressing to kill” and this drives them to do crazy things just to fit into a particular class and in the end kill their bank account. The question is always HOW can this be done? In the Part 1 of this article, I gave 7 tips on how to look like a million dollars without spending a million dollars and promised to give more tips on what kinda clothes best suit your body shape; what accessories to match your outfit; colour combination, how to pair your clothes, and finally your composure/poise/charisma. After all is said and done; if you cannot compose yourself, your fashion sense would be incomplete. 

So I'll be showing you how I wore one yellow blazers with two different outfits and how I paired them for different occasions (Church and work). I also wore the leopard skin skirt twice - to church and work. Let's get started.

 

I wore this to church, the colour combination had two flashy colours so I had to tone it down with black bag and black shoe. Since I had a statement necklace, I used a very smal earing. You don't want to be too loud or too flashy. 

Outfit details: Blazers & Bag-Zara (£40/birthday present at previous job), Skirt-Select.com (£8), Shoe-Bershka (£20), Singlet top-Primark (£2.50), Statement necklace-Miss Selfridge (Can't remember how much),  Belt-Newlook (£8)

Bear in mind that all these items were bought at different times. After going through fashion blogs, before your eyes start coveting the items; go back to part 1 of this article and read tips No 3 - Shop According To The Size of Your Wallet. You look great even if you're wearing a £1 dress, it all depends on how you pair your clothes.

This second outfit was to work so I didn't really bother with any accessory; I already posted some of the pictures on Instagram so I'll post just two here. The idea behind pairing these items was just to add little colour to the black and white so I used the blazer to make the outfit less dull and then a pink bag with pink belt. Again, black shoes will always keep it simple and tone down the colour.  Pls ignore the poor picture quality*covers face*

Outfit details: Blazers & Bag-Prada(£40/£...google it), Shoe-Bershka (£20), Top & Trouser -Primark (£4/£12), Belt-Forever 21 (£3)

This is the same leopard skin skirt in the first pix collage and I wore it to work. This time I used a simple necklace, combined with a little touch of red. 

Outfit details: Shirt-H&M (£25), Bag-Celine (£...google it), Skirt/Shoe-Select.com (£8/£15), Necklace-Forever 21 (£8)

From these outfits, you can see that all it takes is knowing what fits, what colour combinations to pair and how to accessorize. When shopping, pick clothes you're comfortable; the leopard skin skirt is "body-con" and was bought early last year so even when I lost a few pounds of weight it still fit. 

For accessories, don't be too loud - if you're wearing a statement necklace it is advisable to use a small earring and vice versa. Most times you accessorize based on the occasion you're going for, sometimes simplicity is required and other times you can bring out the gaga in you. The three outfits were to work and church so I decided to keep it simple.

Price - life is in stages and phases, buy what you can afford at your level. Don't compare yourself with anyone; you can re-rock your outfits like I did but pair them differently. If you love what you're wearing and it fits well, step out of your house confidently and walk like a queen. If you still don't understand, please read tip No 4 (Prioritize - Buy What You Need NOT What You Want) in Part 1 of this article.

When buying items, I give priority to bags, shoes - then accessories before the clothes. You can wear any simple outfit but your bags, shoes & accessories distinguishes you. Some people don't really care about bags/shoes; just do what suits you. It all depends on what you want, what you feel comfortable doing and what you're happy with.  

Now you're ready to dress to kill

I'll love to read your thoughts....

XX

Lynn

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WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS?

Sunday, September 22, 2013

It's sad that many people do not know the quality, greatness, uniqueness with which they are made. They constantly find themselves needing appraisal and confirmation from others to make them feel good or think they are good enough. It's more annoying that they feel less about themselves cos they're trying to measure up to someone's idea of who they are supposed to be. They try to make themselves good enough to be loved, appreciated or accepted by someone else. WHY? WHY? WHY?

Do you really know who you are? Do you know how beautiful you are? Do you know how valuable you are? You're exceptionally BEAUTIFUL and never let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't try to impress someone by depressing yourself...you're AMAZING, JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

PRESS PLAY on the video below, I have a message for you.

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NIGERIA - A BEAUTIFUL NATION BUT STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Few days ago, I watched two YouTube videos made by Nigerians resident in USA and they had one thing in common – how bad Nigeria is and the corrupt leadership. One of them actually bashed Nigeria so much that you’ll wonder what sort of people live in that country. 

After seeing these videos, I wondered if it was reasonable to expect a new born child to act, think and function like a 50 year old adult.  How do you even start to compare the differences in experience, character, physical qualities, maturity, intellectual knowledge between an infant and an adult. Do you expect a child to jump out of the womb and compete with Usain Bolt on a 100m race??? NO WAY. So why do we compare Nigeria with USA, UK, Canada etc?  It took USA 237 years and Canada 146 years after independence to become what they are today and still there are slums/ghettos in these western countries. I live in London and there are some places I have walked/driven through that are as bad as Ariaria market in Aba. I once came across a part of Elephant and Castle that looked like a mechanic workshop somewhere in Lagos. The only difference between Nigeria and these countries is a system that works and it took them hundreds of years to achieve what they have today. We need leaders who have a passion to make Nigeria a better place; not for the purpose of greed, wealth acquisition, looting and embezzlement of funds allocated to the masses. Creating a system that works is a journey that takes a very long time but Nigerians are not patient.  This article is not to dispute the fact that Nigeria has issues and it does not overlook the fact that our leaders are corrupt. However, my aim is to draw your attention to a nation that is a work in progress; a nation that is making transition into becoming a better country.  Even though some of us do not (and have refused to) acknowledge it, the fact remains that we have made tremendous progress since our independence. The truth is, our children/grand children may be the ones to see the Nigeria we dreamt of. The Nigeria we see today is not the Nigeria we used to know and will not be the same in the future.

The most common issues in Nigeria are:

Petroleum: It’s sad that we are a member of the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC), with over 40 billion barrels of oil reserve and still have fuel scarcity.

Electricity: In 2007, Nigeria supplied Ghana 80 megawatts of electricity to help make up the 2000 megawatt they required to address their energy crisis at that time. It is disappointing that five years later, Ghana is said to be supplying Nigeria with electricity. I know some people will ask if we’re moving forward or backwards (I guess forward but with little bumps in the way).

Education: The JAMB system in Nigeria will NEVER be a true test of knowledge but yet, it has denied many qualified and over-qualified Nigerian youths a right to education. The ASUU strike has frustrated students because most of them end up spending 5/6 years in school for a 4 years course. Because of this, many parents have resorted to “expensive” private schools that have accreditation issues (if our education system was good, most students in private schools will not be there).

Politics: Politics in Nigeria has never been played fair and impartial; it has never been without election rigging or killing of innocent people because of power.

Medical needs: Our medical facilities are really poor, inadequate and rusty (obsolete).

Government: The bribery and corruption is on another level… I can’t find the words to explain it.

Other chaos:Boko-Haram, kidnapping, bad roads etc

In one of the videos I watched @Ritaspeaks asked a question – Naija, is it that bad? Watch the video HERE. Well, the answer is Yes and No but it depends on how you see it. I acknowledge the issues facing Nigeria; I guess we all expected more from our leaders but feel let-down as none of these have been changed despite their numerous promises during elections. Things may be bad but what matters is how we see it. Do you see the cup half full or half empty? How can we even see the good in Nigeria when all we do is magnify the bad deeds, escalate all our mistakes, insult the government, bash our leaders and curse the nation? How can you see the change when your vision is clouded with negative images of Nigeria? I don’t know about you but I can see a cup half full. Any success without mistakes will not last cos mistakes help to shape and mould us into better and stronger people as long as we dust ourselves up and keep moving. That’s the way I see Nigeria. We are a growing country, an emerging market; we are making our mistakes but we are also getting stronger every day.

 

We need to stop focusing on the issues we have and channel this vexation into making Naija a better place. There is hope for a better tomorrow but it takes you and I to make the difference. John .F. Kennedy (35^th USA president) once said, “don’t ask what your country can do for you; instead ask what you can do for your country”. Every day I bless God for men like Pastor Chris Oyakhilome for his “Reach Out Nigeria (RON) Campaign” which holds every 1^stOctober in all states in Nigeria providing food/shelter to the needy, donating ambulances to hospitals, computers to schools etc (see more of RON works HERE).  I appraise men like Aliko Dangote who recently took out a huge loan to build a refinery in Nigeria – it takes a man with a passion for his country to take this petroleum matter upon himself (ermm abeg, can we vote him for president?). Thanks to Dr Ola Orekunrin of Flying Doctors who has helped with emergency medical attention. Even our youths are making a difference in their own way; people like Duro Oye who started the 2020 Change Foundation to eradicate youth violence in the UK; Debbie Motilewa who started Volunteer Nigeria (read Debbie’s interview with LynnVille HERE) and so many others. We have made progress, though little but it’s something to celebrate. If all you see is the negative and bad side, you'll never see the good when it happens.

 

To Nigerians currently living in the country, don’t be in a haste to run away or get involved in illegal activities all in the name of searching for greener pastures; the grass is greener where you water it. Don’t curse your country/leaders please, the curses may follow them and if they are still in authority, it will affect you. The British national anthem is more like a prayer and in every verse it has the caption  “God save the queen”; every time that anthem is sang, it’s a prayer for their leader. It is difficult to find an American or a Briton cursing/ saying negative words about their country. Please let us focus on the good things instead of magnifying the bad ones; and let us learn to pray for our leaders (yeah I know you’ll say we’ve been praying; pls continue). When making international trips, don’t be ashamed to show your green passport at the airport while you’re on the queue & don’t hide it in a red/black passport holder.  I understand we get extra checks/harrassments most times just cos of our nationality; just shrug it off. They don’t know our journey so they only act based on their myopic knowledge about us. Just IGNORE them, let them do their checks.

 

And to my fellow Nigerians in diaspora, don’t be ashamed to say you’re Nigerian. The way you present Nigeria to your colleagues at work, fellow students etc will determine how they see you. No one can believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself; you’re the Nigeria they see and the story you give them is what they’ll believe.  Even when they ask you questions about the bad things in Nigeria, answer them but make sure you end the conversation by pointing out the good things about Nigeria that they never knew. Most violent acts and frauds in UK,USA in the past 2 years has one or more Nigerians involved. That is really disappointing but hey... every country has both good and bad people. You may have become a British citizen or gotten your green card – you’re still Nigerian cos the name printed on your passport will not change from Oluwasemilore Adegbite or Chukwuebuka Nwachukwu  to Tom Grays – You’re Naija for life, be proud of it  and speak positively about the country. (random names, sorry if it’s your real name).

 

Finally my brethren and sisthren (lol), abeg let’s be patient with Naija, we’re only 52 and we will get there. We may not know the “HOW” for now but we will surely improve and develop; just keep supporting in your own little way and never give up on her. We are a work in progress…better days ahead.

Aerial view of  Falomo Bridge, Lagos. 

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VOLUNTEER NIGERIA INITIATIVE - Debbie Bolanle Motilewa inspires Nigerian youths to make an impact

Saturday, August 31, 2013

I met Debbie for the first time in February 2012, in Aberdeen, Scotland when I went for a friend's brithday.  A vibrant and pretty young lady with many talents. Beneath the pretty face and gorgeous looks is a strong woman with a passion to make a positive impact in her environment and country at large. Debbie recently started an initiative called VOLUNTEER NIGERIA to inspire youths to come together to help charity organisations. Debbie contacted LynnVille about this initiative and being so inspired by her works, it was a pleasure to have an in-depth discussion with Debbie about this and her passion to embark on this mission.

Hi Debbie, can you give us a brief info about yourself?

My name is Deborah Bolanle Motilewa, I turned 21 on the 19th of June 2013. My dad is from Kogi State, my mum is from Anambra state. I was born in Jos, Plateau state, later moved to Lagos with my parents. I attended Chrisland Primary School Ikeja, and Chrisland College Idimu. I have a BA(hons) in Accounting and Finance from Dublin Business School, Ireland (2011) and an MSC(Econs) International Business, Energy and Petroleum from the University of Aberdeen, UK (2012). I am currently doing my NYSC in Abuja in an Electrical Engineering and Supply firm (Trust NYSC to post a Petroleum Economist to an Electrical Engineering Firm).

Thanks for that brief info. So, what is Volunteer Nigeria?

Volunteer Nigeria is created to be a support to other existing charity organizations. It is aimed at bringing youths together once every three months to assist in a charity of our choice. Volunteer Nigeria creates public awareness to the spirit of volunteering. After talking to a few friends about the initiative, I realized most Nigerians do not have the spirit of volunteering. We were not brought up that way; I entered an orphanage for the first time the day I went to seek permission for Volunteer Nigeria. We have not been taught the need to give back, the need to volunteer. You know how a child lights up a place? How regardless of a child’s surrounding, he/she is ready to play once they find a playmate or play toy? I love kids; they are so innocent and mostly cute. I believe if most adults have the playfulness, joy and inner happiness of children, the world will definitely be a better place. It is my love for children that led me to dedicate a huge part of Volunteer Nigeria to orphanages.

What inspired you to start the initiative?

A week after moving back to Nigeria in January, I was having fun (the usual seeing friends you haven’t seen in years, long lost family members, trying out all the

Shawarma and Suya joints in Abuja). In February, I took a mini tour round Nigeria, I went to see friends in Lagos, my sister in Ile-Ife, extended family in Kogi State. I went to NYSC camp in March; made friends, participated in as many activities as I could. I was the secretary of my platoon. I started working in April, started having a routine (I don’t do so well with routines). And then I started feeling empty. I felt like I had done it all, like I was just living the normal “youth life” I wasn’t doing anything different. Deep down I knew I was better than that. I have always thrived to be different since as far back as I can remember. I always did that “little” extra thing. During my undergraduate studies in Dublin, I was a member of various charity organisations; I formed the dance society in my college (not like I can dance oo). My school was just lacking a dance society, and I took the task upon myself. When I went for my masters program, I taught myself to sew: watched numerous YouTube videos. Shout out to Tglashen, her YouTube videos ROCK. I participated in fashion shows. My clothing line “Debbie’s” was on three runway shows in Aberdeen. (Read about it on her blog HERE). I wrote short plays for magazines, blogs e.t.c. 

Lets just say I have always done something extra. I don’t feel comfortable doing the minimum. I can’t count how many businesses I started; I made homemade toothpaste and glitter lip-glosses in primary four and was selling it in my neighborhood. The moment I feel I am doing nothing, that empty feeling comes in. This time, I wasn't pushed to start a bus. iness; I was moved to be a better person, to develop something to help my immediate community. As they say, charity begins at home. I began having numerous discussions with like-minded friends, after most conversations I had with these friends, I always ended with “I don’t want to be stuck doing the minimum. I want to be someone’s mentor.” Three months into this thought process, Volunteer Nigeria came into being.

 You studied in UK for a while before returning to Nigeria for NYSC, what were your views about Nigeria before you left and now that you’re back?

Thank you. I had been out of Nigeria for about five years gaining two degrees, , I felt I had seen what “the white man had to offer me”. Coming back to Nigeria was to see the Nigerian economy from the eyes of a mature Debbie, I came back to test the waters, to compare countries. When I left Nigeria I was 16, I was under mummy and Daddy’s roof, I was in boarding school for most of my teenage years, and just like most Nigerian parents, I was hardly allowed to leave the house on school breaks. On returning back to Nigeria, it was a totally different scenario. Yes, I was still under mummy and daddy's roof but I was more sensitive to my surroundings, I had a salary and was expected to some extent be responsible for myself. At this point my eyes were open to the unruly behaviour of some of us Nigerians - the bad customer service, the uneducated professionals. I think nothing annoys me more than calling my phone data service provider (airtel) when my data is having issues, and hearing the girl/guy on the other end tell me stories over and over again, then finally saying “I’ll direct your issue to the technicians”.  Lo and behold my data is not fixed and I never hear back from the so-called technicians. I have come to understand that the issues with Nigeria do not lie with just the government or the people. It lies with the lawmakers. There is almost no incentive in abiding by the law, the only benefit is a clear conscience. People do what they want, how they want to and when they want to because there is no emphasis on right or wrong.

You’ve made quite a few observations about Nigeria. At your age you’re making a difference in your own little way, what advise will you give to other Nigerian youths/youths in diaspora?

 I haven’t made a difference YET. This to me is just the beginning. I am really just starting. In fact this is what you’ll call a prototype. My advice not just to Nigerians, not just to Nigerians in Diaspora, but to everyone is; don’t wait till you feel empty. Don’t wait till you feel the need to do more. Start doing more now. Don’t just live a basic life, volunteer in one way or the other; no volunteering is too small or too big. Look for a way of touching someone’s life. Aim to be a mentor. The question is when you depart, what shall you be remembered for?

Finally what should we be expecting from Volunteer Nigeria?

Volunteer Nigeria by God’s grace will cover all areas of charity. The first edition was aimed at kids in orphanages (Mother Theresa Orphanage in Abuja), the second edition although not concretely concluded will be aimed at kids in orphanages again. We hope to go into Woman empowerment next; we are looking at shelter homes for battered women, the woman empowerment program will cut across young girls in secondary schools. We are hoping to have a summer camp in Summer 2014 for teenage girls in secondary schools. It’ll be a fun filled summer for learning and creating the need to stand firm regardless of your sex. The summer camp program is going to be huge. I can feel it in my spirit. I am still working on the background, when I have everything well planned, you’ll be the first to know Lynda.

Great plans you've got, I will be most glad to know and be part of it. Thank you for sharing your passion and goals with LynnVille.

Thank you Lynda, the pleasure is mine and you’ll definitely hear more news. 

Below is a recap of the Volunteer Nigeria visit to Mother Theresa Orphanage, Gwarimpa, Abuja. They did not just visit, they held a party for the kids.

It was a great experience, the first I had engineered, I basically learnt a lot from the experience, the kids had so much fun, we started the day with face painting

Then moved to dance, dance, dance

then games, we had different games in line for the kids; Simon says, musical chairs amongst others.

After that the kids had to have their lunch, so the adults took over the game floor; a short game of musical chairs brought out the children in us. It felt so good to play musical chairs after about ten years of not playing it.

We later moved on to drawing; cardboards, pencils and crayons were provided to see the artistic side of the kids. They were asked to draw Barney, well I must say I saw different representations of Barney.

There was a "mummy/daddy dance for me" competition, were the kids picked adults to dance for them in a bid to win one of our many prizes.

The afternoon ended with a raffle draw for a chance to win two golf sets, which were to be donated to the orphanage. The turnout was quite satisfying. There was a total of 32 guests, which I think is a great number, considering it was the first edition. 

Debbie with the kids

There were loads of donations, and everyone definitely looked happy; both the kids and adults. The best part of the day was knowing that the visit to the orphanage that day was the first visit to any orphanage by about 10 of the invited guests. Which is one of the aims of the program: creating the spirit of volunteering in the hearts of youths.

From the pictures, it is obvious that both kids and adults had fun. Giving back to our community is very imperative but rare especially in this age and time where most people stretch out their hands to “oga, anything for the boys”. We should have the attitude of doing something without expecting money in return; something that will make a positive impact in someone’s life. This time it will be “oga, something from the boys”. 

Anyone can be a part of the November edition of Volunteer Nigeria by:     

• Creating Awareness: tell people you know to tell people they know to tell people the people they know, know about the initiative; newspapers, blogs, magazines, radio, tv, etc.
• Be present in Abuja for the November edition

Debbie blogs at - http://deborahmotilewa.blogspot.co.uk/

For more pictures of the event, visit the Voluteer Nigeria Initiative Facebook page  https://www.facebook.com/VolunteerNigeriaInitiative

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