TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A DISADVANTAGE... Cobhams Asuquo

Monday, February 11, 2013

The first time I saw his face was on a blog; it was the entertainment stories as usual so I just played through the blog and read nothing about him. The second time was that same blog...this time it was his wedding pictures. Yet again, I did not bother to read anything about him so I just satisfied my sense of sight and enjoyed the beautiful wedding pictures. The third time I saw him was also on the internet; this time it was the arrival of his baby. I just muttered "congrats to them" in my mind and went onto the next post. I knew he was well recognized, I knew the name and I also knew he was passionate about what he was doing but one thing I never knew until yesterday was that Cobhams Asuquo was.....BLIND. 

My very close friends know I usually don't go to bed early (like today again); I search the web for more knowledge and to keep abreast with what's going on in the world. Yesterday was not an exception. While browsing through the internet, I noticed a TEDx video and scrolled past it without even blinking. It was like a disease that had gone viral because almost every site I visit regularly had the same video uploaded; what was this video? The Gift of Blindness by Cobhams Asuquo. I was wondering what he will be saying about blindness so finally I decided to watch the video (1st time I opened a post about him after ignoring him so many times). How glad I was that I watched that video because it stirred up something in me, I just couldn't stop saying "WOW". It was one of such videos that you have a re-think about yourself, such times when you ask yourself "so what is limiting me"? What is the challenge? Why can't I achieve this goal? Infact so many where, what, how, when and why questions just sprang up in my head. And next thing I thought about YOU, yes you reading this article now. I thought someone would benefit from this video as I did. For Cobhams, he saw an ability in a disability; he took advantage of a disadvantage; he turned an excuse into a determination to succeed. He chose to break the limitations of blindness, He chose to Maximise His Potentials, He chose to succeed. See the video below.

From the topic to the composure, to the sense of humour, to the vocal eloquency with which Cobhams spoke; everything was just superb. I was so impressed by the title he chose "The Gift of Blindness", he saw it as a gift. AH!!! Some people have their five senses functioning well with both hands and legs very strong and yet have chosen to tag themselves as beggars on the streets. But here is someone who had every reason to give an excuse for failure but chose not to. Life throws so many challenges at us at different stages in our life; but I can imagine being born blind and how he started facing his own challenge right from birth. If you ever find a path in life without challenges, it probably means that the path leads nowhere; only paths leading somewhere has challenges. Cobhams found that path and conquered every limitation that stood in his way; he is a proof that it is not about what happens to you but what matters is how you see it and what you do after that. These challenges appear to be limitations (notice I used the word appear, which means they're there to shake you up/to put fear in you/to discourage you; but in reality they're stepping stones to your success) in your path; your determination to break these limitations is what propels you closer to achieving your goal. Every time you rise above a limitation, you're taking giant strides, climbing up, riding on eagles wings and soaring higher. In our society, the blind, lame, deaf, are usually objects of sympathy; people have pity on them because it looks like they cannot function to maximum potentiality because of the impairment of one of the five senses. There is an "eh ya" or "sorry" when you hear he/she is blind; literally meaning he cannot function normal but with Cobhams, the story is different (in his words "pesin wey we dey feel sorry for no dey feel sorry for himself"). He never for once felt he was disadvantaged, he saw it as an advantage and today he is s an award-winning musician, producer, and songwriter. So today, be encouraged; be inspired, be motivated, let something stir up in you, be challenged, break every limitation in your way, NEVER make excuses (read my article on Excuses Are Life's Predators HERE) cos they rob you of your vision and focus. DON'T loose focus, set your eyes on the goal, be blind to every distraction, be determined to keep pressing on irrespective of anything that stands in your way. Choose to be a LIMIT BREAKER, Conquer your world and Succeed aaaaaaalllllllll the way :)

XX
Lynn

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WHO IS TO BLAME???

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Hey peeps, its weekend again and i'm sure everyone's excited to get some rest from the busy week gone-by. While going through some blogs yesterday, i came across this story. I didn't want to blog about it but today i felt the need to and i'll explain why after you read the story -19 year old Nigerian teen found guilty of murder in the UK. 

 On 25 March 2010, 17 year old Victoria Osoteku armed a 20-strong mob who ‘hunted down’ and hacked to death a15-year-old boy at a railway and underground station in front of rush-hour commuters. Sofyen Belamouadden was punched, kicked and stabbed to death in a ‘brutal and merciless murder’ planned on Facebook after a feud between pupils from two rival schools erupted into violence. Victoria was the one who bought the knife that was used to stab Sofyen, and she was also captured on CCTV kicking Sofyen in the head before running off, leaving him to bleed to death. Victoria, now 19, has been convicted of manslaughter and conspiracy to cause grievous bodily harm after a five-month trial at the Old Bailey and faces jail time. Other teens convicted of Sofyen's murder: Adonis Akra(18), Samuel Roberts(19), Femi Oderinwale(18), Obi Nwokeh(19), Christopher Omoregrie(18), Samson Odegbune(18).

Born to Nigerian parents in Peckham, South-East London, Osoteku’s upbringing was deeply troubled. At the age of two, her father Abiodun took her and her three-year-old sister away from their drug addict mother Ebunoluwa, who has serious mental health issues and has been sectioned a number of times. For a number of years, she was shunted between her aunt and a hostel before her father, a painter and decorator, remarried when she was five. Osoteku told the jury that she suffered daily beatings at the hands of her stepmother.  At the age of eight she was taken into care and placed with foster parents. Classmates described her as a bully who was always egging others on. One said: ‘Victoria was at the forefront – she was a bit of a bully.’ But the schoolgirl claimed to be a kind person. On her internet profile, she wrote in poorly spelt English: "a black indpendent women who cares for all my bedrins and all fam. but every 1 is ke fam to me. Im a joka thats loves a joka and im rely kind and fast to kick wid".

Back to my reason for blogging about this. After i read the story, i proceeded to the comments. Wow, 135 comments...what are they saying? So many people blamed the parents for bringing her up in the western society, for not training up the child the way she should go while others were very pissed with the fact these culprits are only teenagers. Not even one of them is up to 20 (smh) and most shocking they were all Nigerians except two people. It got me thinking, are parents really responsible for the violent actions their children carry out? In a bid to give their children the best education, has sending them outside the shores of their motherland made them bad parents? Is there an excuse for why a person chooses to live a bad/good life? Who is to blame? Parents or the kids?

In my honest opinion, i do not think parents are 100% guilty; yeah the bible admonishes parents to train up a child in the way he/she should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. But every individual has his own choice to make in life, no matter how your parents have brought you up. So many times you see a very good christian home where the parents have done everything possible to give their kids the best but somehow these kids still do otherwise. After the age of 16, every human being born on earth knows the difference between good and evil and whatever you choose to do will define who you'll turn out to be. Parents will do their best for you, they will send you to school but will not live in the boarding house with you, they don't go for lectures with you and don't hang out with you. The best they can do from home is to pray for you and send money when you need it. It also baffles me that most people blame the life in UK for this predicament; but i'll tell you that in this same country, i have seen teenagers who work while studying and try to be something in life for themselves and their families. Out of 10 British kids, only 4 grew up in a complete home, the rest grew up with single parents but have decided to not allow that to jeopardise their future. The location where someone grew up shouldn't be an excuse to mess up, Peckham or Kensington; ajegunle or Banana Republic; the ghetto (slum) or Buckingham Palace, golden spoon or rubber spoon...it doesn't matter. Victoria's childhood may have been rough but irrespective of all that happened to her, i think something good would have still sprang up from such a beautiful girl. When it comes to taking someone's life or inflicting pains on others, it ceases to be a situation to blame parents cos you have a choice to be good or bad. No one decides that for you.

Excuse not good enough.

To the teenagers reading this, you can be different, choose to be good and don't allow your environment influence you. Keep friends who will add value to your life and learn to walk away from the ones who don't.

To the parents reading this, pls make out time to be part and parcel of your children's life. Do all it takes to be their best friend so that they can let you in on everything that happens in their life. That way you will be able to help them take out the shaft from the grains. Don't spoil them with money, when you lavish them with so much luxury they will do anything to make sure they keep up with that standard of living.

So my dear readers, let's discuss this...who is to blame? The parents or the kids? Or the Nigerian government for not providing quality education for the citizens?

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YOU ARE A MOVING TRAIN

Friday, February 17, 2012

“I’m tired of this job, it never gives me time for myself; I’m constantly stressed and over-worked. I don’t even get paid as much as the work-load deserves and…blah blah blah”.

I constantly ranted and grumbled, this was my response to anyone who cared to listen. It became my daily confession whenever someone asked how was work? Banking in Nigeria can really be stressful and you don’t get paid as much as you work except you have gotten to the top of the food chain. Climbing the ladder to the top usually depends on certain criteria which may be somewhat difficult to attain except you are in the marketing department and can bring in billions of naira. I remember being asked at the interview if I could work under pressure, my response was YES with a big smile on my face but I didn’t know what I had signed up for. Some days I worked from 7am till 8pm, other days I worked from 7.30 am till 7.30pm with less than 45mins break. But the one that really got to me was a day I worked on Saturday from 8am till 11pm (wat da hell) and still continued on Sunday from 12pm till about 8pm (now I went nuts). I wrote my first resignation letter that night after I got home and decided to quit my job. I didn’t have the nerves to do it on Monday so I decided that instead of quitting, I will change my department from customer service to marketing so I could climb faster. My mind was made up, I went to tell my head of operations (one of the best boss I’ve ever had). He looked at me and said, “Are you sure this is what you want?” I replied “Yes sir”. But he still told me to go home and think it through and be sure I had acquired the knowledge I needed to move to marketing. I said OK and walked away.  My head spun in 360 degrees wit thoughts of what my boss said; finally I realized I was in that position for a reason and will not function effectively in my next task if I couldn’t succeed in my present position. I was a MOVING TRAIN. I needed to start from somewhere in the professional track and will need to make some stops to pick up the relevant skills i required to get to the top.

So many times in life we do not like where we are but I also know that if God had allowed it, then there’s a reason why you’re still there. It may be a job you do not like or a situation you want changed. You may be there because God is training you to be more patient, humble, to learn to trust Him or to grow in faith; so recognize that you are a moving train and you’re moving to the top. While on this journey, grasp all the information you need, improve your skills, acquire more knowledge, walk closer with God, build relationships, expand your network and learn to stand strong. If you get pissed at everything and everyone, you may not be able to gain as much as you should and hence may not be able to handle greater tasks in the future. STOP complaining, look for opportunities to exploit and begin to see possibilities for a new and better job.

After what my boss said, I decided to stay in customer-service and this time with a different mind-set. I decided to learn and grow in the job. In few months I was transferred from the very busy and hectic head-office to a new branch with less work-load. I had gained mastery in my role so much that it didn’t feel like work anymore. I left the bank the following year and I took with me so many things that I have applied in life today including patience with people, effective communication, attention to details, going the extra mile etc. My function as a customer service officer played a major role in my dissertation during my Masters degree; from what I learnt in the job I was able to write an article on customer satisfaction which was recommended to be published in an academic journal. What if I had bailed out without making good use of that opportunity?

So don’t be discouraged or depressed, you won’t be there for a long time because you’re a moving train. Get prepared for the next stop and I urge you to acquire as much goodies as you can before reaching your destination at the top. See you there :o)

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EXCUSES...Life's Predator

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Ever been in a situation where you made a mistake or did something wrong but couldn’t explain just how it happened? YES…I’ve been there too.

Then did you try to make excuses for your actions or try to blame someone else for what happened? Probably you had to make excuses to abate the effects of the consequences, e.g using traffic as excuse for coming late to work…yeah I’m guilty of that too. But the worst mistake one can ever make in life is to blame the world, society, background, environment etc . for not achieving your dreams. Your life goes in the path that you decide not what it throws at you. What have you desired to accomplish that you’ve been making excuses for?

Excuses are life’s predators seeking to prey on those who are willing to succumb to its deceitful acts. It tends to feed on the part of a human that makes him/her take responsibility for their life, actions and decisions. Excuses take away the zeal to fight, the courage to push forward and the maturity to take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes, it can slow down a person’s growth in life…keeping him/her stagnant and ignorant. This is because when people know that there’s always a means of escape they restrain from pushing themselves out of their comfort-zone; choosing instead to wallow in quagmire. Till you leave your comfort zone, you never know how far you can go in life.

 When you make a mistake, admit that you have; by so doing you stand a chance of learning something new by taking corrections. Taking full responsibility of your actions, makes you accountable for what happens in your life – this will motivate you to keep yourself in check, be diligent in all things and strive for excellence. The key factors you will need are Determination and Focus. Someone who is determined has no limitations, there’s absolutely nothing he/she cannot achieve. When you’re determined, you will be willing to succeed against all odds and will want to learn from mistakes. You can literally spread your wings and fly as high as you can. Finally, NEVER lose your focus; keep your gaze on those things you need to achieve that dream, keep at it and never give up.

No more excuses…it’s time to take responsibility and do something.

There’s a lesson to learn in every mistake,

An opportunity to excel in every challenge,

It all depends on how you look at it...Lynn

I stumbled into some really flimsy and funny excuses and i'll just share a few with you...

I hope you had a good laugh...don't use any of these excuses o.  It's time to say no to them, the next image should encourage you. Push excuses away.

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