DEALING WITH "TRUST" IN A RELATIONSHIP

 If grasses could spring up from a hard concrete cemented floor, then LOVE can find you anywhere; even in the weirdest of places.

 To love and be loved in return is a beautiful thing; to know that someone somewhere is happy just because you are in his/her life is a pleasant feeling. Such moments when you're in the office and looking at your laptop; your colleagues will probably think you're busy not knowing that you're completely lost at the sight of the beauty on your screen saver. Love may be all things sweet and romantic but it's "hard work" to maintain it and only the strong and willing reap its fruits. Out of the 1,000,000,000,000,000 people in this world, you chose that one person to open your heart to; to share the deepest secrets with; to make a fool of yourself for; to trust your heart in his/her hands and accepting to go through thick and thin with that person. That's giving someone license to kill you and trusting that they won't...(I think i'll rather say PRAYING and hoping they won't). But in real terms; do you actually trust that person?

TRUST is one of the basic foundations of loving someone; that point when you choose to believe every word they say; you take their word as their bond and can vouch for this person with your life. There's a popular saying that "trust is like a glass, it takes ages to build but a second to get broken". To love someone is to trust them and without trust, love cannot grow but some people choose to stay in a relationship where they have to check his/her phone for text messages?  Why do you have to tag along with her to a girls night out? Hellooooo..it's "girls' night out" not boys' night out. Why do you set a trap for him/her hoping they fall into it? Why would you eavesdrop on his/her call? If you're guilty of these questions I've asked then you need to re-define your relationship. You may say Lynn, you don't understand. Yeah, clearly I don't; but what I do know is that the more you keep doing these things, the worse it get cos you will never be at rest when he/she walks out of the door to go somewhere without you. You panic when he's out with the guys, your heart skips when someone tells you they saw someone that looked like him in Ikoyi whereas he said he was going to Lekki (now you don't know what to believe). You're in a relationship but not happy; you find yourself arguing everyday about little matters (guys call it nagging) and that love you once cherished gradually diminishes. This was not the plan from the beginning right? OK, so what do we do?

Dealing with trust issues starts from your knees...the place of prayer. Secondly, cut out third parties (he said, she said, they said) you don't need to listen to what anybody says if you want to build trust. Hear from the horse's mouth before you conclude...the only third party should be God. As human beings, it is not possible to completely trust someone but you trust only through the ability of God. You trust that person by trusting God to keep him/her from falling; you constantly pray for them and speak positive words into their life. The bible says that "they that put their trust in God shall not be put to shame"; it is not by our power to control another human being. You can only pray and trust that God will keep them away from the things they shouldn't do; that's how you deal with trust issues. Most importantly, have a positive mind. Titus 1:15 (NIV) says ^"to the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure.In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted." In essence, if you're one who naturally has a negative/corrupt mind you'll find it difficult to trust people cos you'll never believe anything they say even when they're saying the truth. Pray about it.

Ladies, shouting at him and asking where he has been for the past 6 hours would only push him farther away (that's the nagging they complain about); monitoring his every move will give you heart attack (lolll)...let him be free as a bird, don't cage him. If you do, he'll look for every opportunity to seek freedom but if you let him go; he'll always want to be around you. Do your part as a lady and God will do the rest as long as you're living a trustworthy life. Don't pray for a trustworthy guy when you can't be trusted. Guys, do not tie her down to the house or change her wardrobe to only wear long skirts so that no other man can see her. I had a friend in university who's bf would get so angry even when she's in the study group just because there are guys in the group. So because you're in a relationship, she automatically becomes quarantined to every other male figure. Mba nu...guys don't do this. You have to pray for her too; some guys think its only the ladies who should pray. Nah bruv...if you love her, you have to go on your knees for her. It's easy to fall into temptations but with prayers, so many things are averted.

 Love is not enough to sustain a relationship, to give the best of love you have to go through love himself - GOD. If you trust God, then trust him to keep the trust in your relationship. Only through God can you sustain trust cos human love is fickle, little challenges puts your love to test and not every relationship survives it. Learn to trust your partner today, build your relationship on a strong foundation and invite God to be your TRUST-FUND. 

Have a lovely week

XX